Pitch Black

Directed by: David Twohy

Written by: Jim Wheat, Ken Wheat, David Twohy










Sometimes, a good movie flies under the radar.  Other times, a movie flies under the radar because it stinks.  Unfortunately, "Pitch Black" is one of the latter.

A ship carrying a variety of passengers, including escaped convict Riddick (Diesel), crashes on a seemingly deserted planet.  Soon, though, the stranded travelers realize that something terrible lurks in the shadows of the planet.  And, just conveniently enough, they've crashed mere hours before an unusually long eclipse.  Can they trust Riddick to help them get off the planet?  Or will these light-sensitive beasts tear them apart before the sun emerges again?

Now, if only the actual script were as good as the summary I just wrote.

I remember when "Pitch Black" originally came out, and although I was intrigued at the time I never bothered to actually go see it.  The rise and presence of Vin Diesel in the action film world had kept this film in the back of my mind for a long time.  Finally, I broke and watched it.

And I regret it.

It's a real doozy of a stinker.  For a movie which hinges on nasty beasts coming out of the darkness, the movie is obnoxiously bright (literally) for nearly half the running time.  Then, when it finally does get dark, there's really nothing to see.  We only get a few shots of the monsters, but they are revealed to be unimpressive.  (The design of the beasts seems to have been culled from the reject pile of "Starship Troopers.")

Now, a movie lacking in action can be held up by interesting characters.  Unfortunately, these characters are more flat than a can of soda left out for a week.  Even the main character - Riddick - doesn't do much more than exist as a tough-guy.  At one point, one of the young characters reveals that "he" is really a "she" - but that shocking fact really has no impact or implications for the story.

Aside from a couple of "jump" moments, this movie was an absolute waste of my time, and I regret wasting precious internet bandwidth watching it.

Surrogates

Directed by: Jonathan Mostow

Written by: Michael Ferris, John Brancato (screenplay)

Written by: Robert Venditti, Brett Weldele (graphic novel)

There's been a rash of graphic-novel-to-film adaptations lately. Some are good, some are poor, and some fall right into the middle of mediocrity. "Surrogates" falls squarely into that final category.

In the future, people rarely go outside of their homes. Instead, they send robots - the titular "surrogates" - to do their dirty work with no risk of physical harm or death. But when the son of the inventor of the surrogates is somehow killed via his surrogate, detective Tom Greer (Willis) is assigned to investigate. What he unravels, though, is a scheme that goes far beyond a murder scheme to the battle between authenticity and artificiality.

This film had a lot of potential. And the opening sequence - a montage explaining the history of the robotic surrogates - lives up to that potential. Things fall apart after that.

There are a few interesting twists - such as who is behind this plot to destroy the surrogate network. But, given the limited cast of characters, it's not too hard to figure out that it's got to be one of them. The moment when the audience realizes that the first murder is only a small part of a much larger conspiracy adds a bit of excitement at a crucial moment, even if that plot point is revealed in the trailer.

Once again, the one and only Bruce Willis falls short of a great performance. His character falls flat, considering that his purpose is to show the dynamism inherent in humanity. He only shows moments of life, and most of those are action sequences. Moments in this film that require any form of emotion are lost with Willis.

Most importantly - for a movie that is supposed to call to mind the need for true human contact - the film failed to make the audience care about any of the characters. This prevents the theme of movie to become fully realized.

Ultimately, the film "Surrogates" felt itself like a surrogate for a better film.